Thor and The Witches of Donau City
Chris Hemsworth is in Vienna for a movie shoot in my neighborhood.
Chris Hemsworth, who? It seems like all my friends know him but me. A friend sent me a photo, but it didn’t help until another friend told me that he is better known as Thor — that superhero in a film based on the Marvel Comics character of the same name.
Hemsworth. Photo by NETFLIX
“OH, HIM?” Now I remember! I saw him in one of the series. Yes, he is mesmerizing that you can easily fall under his spell. No wonder everybody’s calling me or writing me Messenger messages asking if I have bumped into him yet.
If I bumped into him, I would ask how much money his producers paid the City of Vienna or the managers of our apartment administration for them to get a permit to shoot. We have to cope with the inconveniences the film shooting is causing us.
The Donau City viewed from across the Doanuinsel
You see, we woke up one day to find this note on the elevator wall informing us about a film shooting in this section of the city where we live. It will last for a couple of weeks, and specific areas will no longer be accessible to us—like the pathway to the subway station or the grocery stores. One day you take that way, a different one the next day. I’d been following the instruction since location shooting began. Yet, I still get stopped almost every time and told to go back and take another way. They are everywhere– those film crew wearing identical green jackets. Their job is to prevent people from crossing the area where Helmsworth may be chasing the bad guys and exchanging gunfire.
Donau City walkway to the subway station
I was focused on following directions that I could use, especially walking to the subway station. It usually takes about 10 minutes by foot from my apartment building to the subway station or bank. But, of course, it depends if you are a rabbit or a turtle that day. I have long become the subject of a news headline joke.
“PHILIPPINE RABBIT TURNS TURTLE” as opposed to that breaking news in the late ’50s that read: “MAN TURNS WOMAN.”
Philippine Rabbit is a bus company in my country.
I was not particularly feeling well yesterday. My nose was running, and I kept on sneezing the whole day, but I needed to go to the Pharmacy to get some medication. It would take me a while to get there because of the filming, but did I have a choice? It was a busy route where you find the Austria Convention Center. It is now a center for getting the vaccine for COVID, a CPR test, or whatever test you may need against the virus. So you walk alongside hundreds of people who want to get tested or have been tested, and you risk yourself getting infected. Better wear your mask, which I always do when in a crowded area.
There’s this concrete stairway at the end, or beginning, of the facility—it depends if you are going or coming—people use both stairs. I saw a film crew at the bottom of one stair instructing people not to use it. I used the unmanned stair to cross the street to the subway station when another crew member suddenly appeared from the crowd, telling me to stay away from there. That was the final straw.
“Give me a break!” I snapped. He was startled, but I just ignored him.
Two other crew saw what was happening and approached me. “Is there any problem?” Asked one of them.
“YOU’RE THE PROBLEM! “I exploded. “I live here, and I’d been trying to cooperate, but every day you come up with a new rule.” No one could stop me now. Rant, rant, rant!
“So really, tell me, how much did the Donau City management get from the producer of this movie?” Donau City is the name of the place in Vienna where I live.
“Every day, I have to make sacrifices like altering my routine because the Donau City gave you a permit to shoot this bloody film without consulting us–the tenants.” I was fuming mad.
“Do you know that I had suffered every waking moment of my life since day one when you started filming?” Helicopters are hovering around and above my apartment building, making it challenging to sleep longer. I continued with my monologue, not giving the no-clue guys to speak.
I knew I could not win the case even when I said that I had just had recent heart surgery. I lied. Yes, I had a defibrillator implant done two months ago, and it was not as scary as open-heart surgery. Still, I want to make it overly dramatic.
“Gute Besserung!” That was the best font of sympathy I could solicit from them. “Get well soon!”
“And don’t forget you are the star of the production.” One of the boys tried to make me feel good by assuring me.
Star of the production, my foot! I snarled.
“How? You are chasing us away once we make a wrong turn to the subway, and now you are telling me we are the stars of the show? THINK AGAIN!”
I crossed the street in haste before they could speak another word. For impact, you know. That’s what actors do in the movies. After a heated discussion in one tension-filled scene, an actor or actress–an actress most of the time– exits furiously, slamming the door on the other actor.
Later in the evening, alone in the comfort of my home, I pondered about my behavior that day. Oh, really! Did it happen? Did I overreact? I used to be insensitive to unnecessary noise. As I grow older, I get easily upset by noise and disorders. I’m not too fond of big crowds. When I get invited to a dinner party, I first ask the number of people coming or know the other guests. I am reminded of that old woman at work that was so wrinkled she looked like crumpled aluminum foil. She never smiled and sneered all the time, never had a nice word for her colleagues in the office. She has been retired for years, but for some reason, she stayed and worked for one professor emeritus of our joint employer—an international organization. I wondered if she was getting paid, and if ever, probably by the professor. How could someone allow themselves to evolve into a wicked witch of fairy tales? I am afraid I am becoming her image, and the thought scares me.
Darn Hemsworth! He made it worse for me—my getting old and sensitive. Was this what it feels like falling under his spell?
I promised not to be annoyed anymore when the camera resumed rolling again. I might even get a glimpse of Chris Hemsworth. Minnie Cruz-Langer, a former work colleague in Vienna, sent me a message through Messenger. She said, “filming some action scenes of the Netflix series “Tyler Rake” in your vicinity this week.” Oh, she has no idea!
That I might bump into Chris Hemsworth, she wrote. I replied, saying that the filming drives me nuts and annoys me no end. She wrote back with a picture of the actor attached, saying „pag nasalubong mo baka di ka na mainis.“ When I bump into him, I may no longer be upset! I wonder. Not easy for the wicked witch of Donau City, getting wrinkled every day, looking like a crumpled aluminum foil.
Glad to know that I am not the only witch in Donau City. When you have lived in this city for so long, stop wondering. There are many of them. One particular witch was this nasty old bag who, one day, prevented me from taking the elevator because she was there first. “Covid,” she hissed. I did not listen because two people were allowed to share the elevator at the start of the pandemic. So I entered, but she got off mumbling incoherently.
“Vielen Dank,” I shouted, a tad louder so she could hear. I was wearing a nose and mouth mask.
I was in the elevator one day at the start of the film shooting, coming from the basement. The door opened on the ground floor, and there she was waiting. She saw me, but she entered like I wasn’t there. I could tell she was in a bad mood, but I was surprised when she began talking to me.
“Do you know they’re shooting a film in Donau City?” she asked. Oh, really? Tell me!
“We are forbidden to use the walkway going to the grocery shop or the subway station,” she said in German. “It is a shame that the Donau City administration did not ask my opinion.” Your opinion does not matter–I wanted to say.
“Oh, they did. The Building Management called me to apologize for the inconvenience. I wonder they forgot about you.” Bitch! Witch! I lied, of course. Made my day.
Of bitches and witches! A great read, as usual