Lost in Translation or How to Start the Year 2022 with a Big Bangang

• By ebotpandayan
• Posted in Uncategorized
• On January 5, 2022
• 3 Comments.

I was having breakfast with two friends and neighbors—a Fil-Austrian couple, Marylin and Norbert—at their place when I received this disturbing news from Pining—a good friend in Vienna.

„Si Puto namatay daw kagabi. Dios ko po! “(Puto apparently died last night. My God!), she wrote.

“NO!” I blurted out. I was petrified.

I startled Marylin with the news that she could also utter, “NO!” She had yet to digest what I told her about Pol, an acquaintance in the Filipino community in Vienna and a former colleague in the United Nations in Austria. After accepting the golden handshake from work, he returned to the Philippines. Unfortunately, he died unexpectedly a couple of days ago. Marylin would only know from me this morning.

Hearing about Puto’s death, I called another friend and Puto’s—Dingdong—to ask if he knew. Like Marylin, Dingdong was disturbed by the news. He did not know but would call Miss Aruba—yes, another friend—for confirmation. He said he would get back to me as soon as he could.

I better ask Abdul. Abdul belongs to our group of friends. I wrote him a message to which he sent me multiple question marks to reply, prompting me to get back to the person who broke the news—Pining.

“I mean Puto, my classmate, and your sister’s former suitor, NOT the Puto we know in Vienna, her prompt reply.

Stunning!

“WADAFAK?” How could I know it was of your classmate? I only know Suman, our good friend in Vienna. He had just turned 60 recently, and he’s dead?”

I needed to call Dingdong urgently, but my phone rang before I could. It was Doorbell, err, Dingdong.

“Nagulat si Miss Aruba, di nya alam!” (Miss Aruba was startled; she did not know).

“Anubaaah? (What the heck?).” Abdul’s reply. “Suman and I were just on the phone talking.“ Of course, he could say, “Ano ba?“ plain and simple. Still, he chose to exaggerate to emphasize that he was genuinely annoyed. Thus, “Anubaaah?“ It was tempting to humor him by quoting Nora Aunor with her now unforgettable line in her iconic movie “HIMALA “(Miracle).

“WALANG HIMALA!“ (There’s no Miracle). As every Filipino knows, Nora Aunor was a Philippine movie superstar, and Suman is an ardent fan.

It was not the first time this comedy of error happened, with my friends playing leading roles. There was a time when Joan of the Church, another Pinoy friend, called me, very much concerned about a rumor circulating in her Prayer Group—that the brother of one of their sisters in their Prayer Group had died. This brother received regular medical treatments twice a month in a hospital. Joan of the Church knew a person who fitted the description—Dingdong. He happens to be a good friend of hers, too, like mine. She said she called him, but he would not answer her call. Why not talk to her sister? I asked. “I prefer that she hears it from me,“ she said. So, I called Dingdong, but I could not reach him either. It worried me that that rumor might be valid until he called back. For a dead person, Puto was jolly when he spoke.

“Ano bagong balita? “(What’s the latest news?). For a person who was dead, he was jolly, I could tell.

“Bad news, that’s the latest. You’re supposed to be dead,“ I said. “ANO!? “(WHAT?) He was upset, his voice a tad higher.

“These people were supposed to be praying, and yet they would rather talk about others.“ He was furious when he called Joanne of the Church and told her so without masking his contempt with her Prayer Group.

“Amen!“ was probably the best answer Joanne of the Church could utter—happy to hear that our friend was alive and kicking.

Meanwhile, the news of the mistaken identity reached Suman. So, naturally, it did not sit well with him. I heard he wasn’t amused. Unfortunately, it happens all the time—news gets lost in translation.

(Except for Pining, Marylin, Norbert, and Abdul, the names of the other characters involved are fictitious. Oh, you know!)